Education

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Learning English

This blog is aimed to help students to learn English by providing materials and exercises including speech function, various genres of text, grammar, and etc.

Teaching English

This blog is also aimed to help teachers to provide various materials and exrcises for their students.

Fun

Fun Learning with various approaches and methods.

Teacher

The value of a teacher is determined not by what he knows, but by his ability to stimulate in others a desire to know. (Professor Robert Lee Madison)

Selasa, 09 September 2014

SPOOF TEXT





A bumpy flight

“This is your captain speaking. We have had a failure in one of our engines. There is no cause for alarm as we still have three engines left. Unfortunately this means that we will be an hour late.”
A short time later the captain spoke again to the passengers: “there is no cause for alarm, but we have just lost another engine. We will now be two hours late.”
When the captain spoke to the passengers for the third time, he again had bad news. “Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you that we are in no danger, but I must inform you that we have had another engine failure. This means that we will now be three hours late.”
Finally, the captain announced that the fourth engine had failed.
One of the passengers turned to another passenger and said, “Oh no! That means we’ll be four hours late!”

1.      Who were the participants in the story?
2.      Where do you think the story happened?
3.      When did the story happen?
4.      What tense is mostly used in the story?
5.      Which part of the story is funny?
6.      How many events are there in the story?
7.      Why do you think the story is funny?
8.      What is the purpose of the writer telling the story?

Rearrange the following paragraphs into a good and meaningful story. Then put in the text organization of spoof!

-          Three days later the farmer called again and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The school crossing sign seems to make them go faster.” So, again the sheriff went out and put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.
-          So, he called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about these people driving too fast and killing all my chickens.” So the next day the sheriff went out and put up a sign that read: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
-          A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But a new expressway bypass meant an alarming increase in traffic. In fact, it was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three a day.
-          Finally, the telephone calls stopped, and the sheriff became very curious. So, he drove out to the farmer’s house, and there on the edge of the road he saw a new sign. It’s a whole sheet of plywood and written in large yellow letters were the words: SLOW: NUDIST COLONY.
-          No good. So, the farmer called again and again, every day for three weeks, but the sheriff just didn’t have time to put up signs every week.

Read the following text and pay attention to the generic structure and answer the questions.

Title
Aren’t you his mother?
Orientation (who, when, where)
A young boy was playing with a ball in the street. He kicked it too hard, and it broke the window of a house and fell inside. A lady came to the window with the ball and shouted at the young boy, so he ran away, but he still wanted his ball back.
Event 1
A few minutes later he retuned and knocked at the door of the house. When the lady answered it, he said, “My father’s going to come and fix your window very soon.”
Event 2
After a few more minutes, a man came to the door with the tools in his hand, so the lady let the boy take his ball away.
Event 3
When the man finished fixing the window, he said to the lady, “That will cost you exactly ten dollars.”
Twist (funny part)
“But aren’t you the father of that young boy?” the woman asked, looking surprised. “No,” he answered, equally surprised, “Aren’t you his mother?”
1.      Who were the participants in the story?
2.      Where do you think the story happened?
3.      When did the story happen?
4.      What tense is mostly used in the story?
5.      Which part of the story is funny?
6.      How many events are there in the story?
7.      Why do you think the story is funny?
8.      What is the purpose of the writer telling the story?

State True or False the sentences below according to the story above.
1.      (…) A young boy broke the window consciously.
2.      (…) A young boy came back to the lady’s house to take his ball.
3.      (…) His father came to the lady’s house and fixed the window.
4.      (…) The man fixed the window costless.
5.      (…) The man thought that the lady was the young boy’s mother.

Rearrange the following jumbled conversation into good and meaningful story.

The perfect husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone in the room stops to listen.
1.      Woman     : Ok. I’ll see you later! I love you.
2.      Woman     : I’m at the mall noq and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?
3.      Woman     : I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2014 models. I saw one I really like.
4.      Woman     : Honey, it’s me! Are you at the club?
5.      Woman     : Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They are asking $950, 000.
6.      Woman     : $80, 000.
7.      Man          : Yes.
8.      Man          : Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.
9.      Man          : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
10.  Man          : Ok, but for that price I want it with all the options.
11.  Man          : How much?
12.  Man          : Hello.
13.  Man          : Bye, I love you too.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then, he smiles and asks: “Anyone knows whose phone is it?”


Read the following story and then answer the questions by choosing the correct answers.

Fixing the Headstone
           
            Once there were two men walking home after a Halloween party. They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
            Trembling with fear, they found an old ma with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
            “Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death, we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”
            “Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”



1.      How many men were walking though the cemetery?
a.       Two
b.      Three
c.       Four
d.      Five
e.       six
2.      What made them shocked when they were walking through the cemetery?
a.       The serene of the cemetery
b.      The darkness of the cemetery
c.       A tap-tapping noise
d.      The howling of wolfs
e.       A man passing by the cemetery.
3.      Who did they find in the cemetery?
a.       A villager
b.      Their friend
c.       The cemetery guard
d.      An old man
e.       A tombstone maker
4.      What did the old man do at that night?
a.       He made a tombstone for someone.
b.      He corrected his name written on his tombstone.
c.       He was just passing through the cemetery.
d.      He had just attended a Halloween party.
e.       He was just making a devotional visit to a grave.
5.      “The old man grumbled.” The word grumbled in the sentence is similar in meaning to….
a.       Smile
b.      Attract
c.       Persuade
d.      Think
e.       Complain




     
Read the following story and then decide whether the statements True or False. Correct the False statements.

I’m sending out some cards.
           
            A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
            His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’
            “But why?” asks the man.
            “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

Statements
T
F
Corrections
1.      The main character of the story was a postman.
2.      He was sending a ‘love mail’ to his wife.
3.      He used perfume to spray the envelopes.
4.      He sent hundreds of envelopes.
5.      Wives who received the mails would be very angry with their husband.




Rearrange the following story and answer the questions.

An Old Man Dying Request

The priest said, “I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. I did, however, thro the other $25,000 in the grave.”
Well the lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing! “I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that.”
“I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!!”
“Well, today I found out I don’t have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave,” the old man said.
 Am elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So, he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate. They were his doctor, priest, and lawyer.
After the man passed away, the three people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, “I have to admit I kept $10,000 of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested.

1.      Who were the most important people in the elderly man’s life?
2.      Why did the elderly man want to meet them?
3.      What did the man want the people to do?
4.      How much money did the doctor take? What was the reason?
5.      What for did the priest take $25,000?
6.      Did the lawyer do what the elderly man asked?
7.      “I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in.” What does the statement mean?
8.      The word “favor” has similar meaning to…
9.      “So he summoned the three most important people…” the word “he’ in the sentence refers to….
10.  Do you think that the story is funny? Why? Why not?

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Little Red Riding Hood


This short movie was made by my students last year.


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Report Text




 REPORT TEXT

Do you know what animal is in the picture? Butterfly? You're right. It's a glass wing butterfly? Can you mention the descriptions of it? physical features? habitat? ways of life? diet?
When we want to describe the way things are, we can write a report text.
What is Report Text?

Below I provide the materials and exercises about report text. Links for videos are available, but for the listening section are not ready yet. 

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English Games: Treasure Hunt



Treasure Hunt: Personal Letter

1.      Preparation stage:
a.       Copy these sheets enough for 4-6 groups of students.
b.      Cut the letters in each box and then mix up all of them. So, there will be 4-6 sets for 4-6 groups. Each set contains 5 jumbled letters
c.       Prepare 4-6 small boxes to put the jumbled letters (you may just put them on the floor but be careful so that they won’t mix up with other groups’).
d.      Prepare also 5 pieces of blank paper for each group and glue/adhesive tape to stick the arranged letters.
2.      How to play
a.       Divide students into some groups.
b.      Each group will have a set of jumbled letters in a small box. But, the boxes should be placed in front of the class.
c.       Divide the members in each group into two categories of player: The Runner and The Executor.
d.      The runners of the groups have to come forward in front of the class one by one. Each time they must dance and clap their hands twice. After they have done dancing and clapping, they are allowed to take 1 piece of paper and give them to the executor.
e.       Ask them to do this until they finish all the papers.
f.       The executors must arrange the papers they get into 5 letters with good arrangement and stick them in the available papers.
g.       The runner CAN NOT help the executors to arrange.
h.      The first group to finish the arrangement correctly is the winner.


NOTE:
·         You can adjust or change or modify the rules according to your needs and class.
·         THE REAL RULES: Teacher should copy each letter on papers with different colors, cut them, and then spread the papers all over the classroom. All members have to hunt them down to arrange the letters.
·         ANOTHER VARIATION: Teacher can mix up the contents in a box with other boxes. So, if the students can complete the arrangement because they lack of certain parts of the letters, they have to ask to other groups to give them those parts. It will be interesting. But be careful since it can be chaotic.



Dear Mrs. Mary Stephenson,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved husband. Mr. Edward Stephenson was a wonderful, caring boss who never yells at his employees. I am sure that he will be dearly missed. My heart goes out to you during this time.


I am sorry that I cannot attend the funeral this Saturday since I have to attend my own relative’s funeral in downtown, but my thoughts and prayers will be with both you and your son, David.


Mrs. Stephenson, I would be glad if I can offer you my assistance for anything you and David need especially regarding the company matters. Moreover, Mr. Stephenson’s lawyer and I will visit you a week after the funeral to talk about the inheritance and some other matters.


With all my heart, I deeply apologize and express my condolences.
 
Sincerely,

Jaclyn Denis




Dear Sonia,

I´ve told you many times that, to me, the worst venom to a relationship is jealousy. When it´s sick. Then it´s fatal. Every time I told you that you pretended to agree, shook your head timidly and promised to change. And that wasn´t what happened, and never did happen.


Each day, each hour, each minute, you suffocate me more, trying to take away my liberty; control my attitudes, my agenda; my friends, you are trying to isolate me as a person But yesterday was the end of it: make that huge fight just because I called my sister sweetie, was the worst.


So, for the good of us all, it´s best if we put an end to this story: I´ll be free to follow my path. FREE, understand? And you will be free to be jealous of me because from this moment on we will have nothing special that brings us together, I´m not your boyfriend anymore.
 
Goodbye

Leon





Dear Mr. Indra Wibawa,

You don´t know how painful it is for me to write this letter. I´m saying painful so that I don´t have to say revolting, because you have total conscience-i know that- of how much I was and am working hard so that the project will work out. What I mean is that I´m doing my part, but, you treat “our” (is it?) project as if it was a game. You´ve limited yourself to chipping in with a little change, always late, and you´re not interested in understanding correctly the business you’re in.


I´m not here begging for your investment, because in every serious business there must be a serious investment. I´m not begging because I recognize the value of my work and in the product we have to offer; and I can say out loud we aren´t selling any product or trafficking any drug. We have a good product, which soon, will be well known all over the world.


Anyway, knowing you´re not interested, I believe, that beyond this point, I should treat you like Mr. or Dr. “Opportunist” that viewed the project as a chance to make a quick fortune and in the moment you realized the fortune would take a little longer, you regretted you got into the business and started to treat the issue with irresponsibility.


Lastly, even though I´m very upset with the situation, I want to tell you the project will continue, with or without you, and will be great, because it´s a good project and counts on the participation of talented and dedicated people who want to work. So, if perhaps you want to continue a part of this group change positively your attitude or you will or you will have regrets again in a short period of time!

Sincerely,

Linda Setiabudi






Dear Sinta,

Today is your birthday, reason of happiness for me, because today I remember someone I can trust and to whom I can devote my love and my affection to.


For some people, the passage of time seems cruel, but when a friend's birthday comes along, we only think to thank God for the privilege of sharing such precious company in the previous year.
Moreover, we cannot forget to ask that this date is repeated indefinitely, for many years to come.
Isn’t the completion of another birthday cause for celebration on merit, because in this case it is the merit of nature, is it not? However, people like you deserve to be honored by completing another year of life, simply because you are able to bring happiness to your fellows.


That's why I say, with all sincerity and with love: Happy Birthday! May your life be always full of joy!


Big hug,

Cindy.





From   : delon_17@ticklemail.com
To       : fella_17@ ticklemail.com


My dear, Fella!

Good morning my love. Know that there is nothing better than waking up with you in mind, even after having spent the night thinking about you.


When I think or dream about you the best thoughts just come to my mind. I hope today you've woken up in a good mood, happy, and able to present yourself to the world with your bright eyes and with your most beautiful clothes to bring more beauty to this little planet of ours.


You have the gift to bring me hope in any situation, from the time you wake up and let me tell you good morning to the moment when we go to sleep and I wish you good night and sweet dreams.


You have the talent to transform anything into something more beautiful than the moment when it was created, as you add warmth and joy to our world. Without you, life would be sadder and the days would be darker. I hope you have woken up feeling quite cheerful and able to transfer all your joy to all who cross your path (include me in that list, too).


My wish is that we are always happy!

Kisses from your biggest fan,

Delon



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